Put It on a Post-It

Yesterday my co-teacher, Jay, told me that before she walks into her most challenging class every day, she prays. Her most challenging class also happens to be my most challenging class - a pod of highly energetic and competitive 8 and 9 year olds who have been in English classes together since kindergarten. They don't like to be outdone or shoved out of the spotlight at all, and things can become rather heated if that occurs. I've had to make kids stay after class, make them write sentences, I've had to make them stand out in the hallway, pull them out into the hallway, send them to the principal, have their mother called, and so on. I hated that class. There have been days I've walked out of that classroom and thought, "Did I just spend the past 15 minutes arguing with an 8 year old.....and they won?" I thought for sure that before the end of the year either I was going to kill them or they were going to kill me. I would get so frustrated that everyday I would tell myself to ask my boss to switch classes with someone else; I should have been doing what Jay does. When she said that, I thought of my tendency to enter prayer as if its a job interview, not the same fashion I would text message a friend as she made her prayers sound. If I could pinpoint the greatest lesson I've learned while being over here, it would be to acknowledge God in every way - big and small, every time I have the chance, for its not so much to remind God that He is who He is or what He has done or anything like that, but to remind myself. There is a quote I read from C.S. Lewis once that states, "Prayer doesn't change God, it changes me," and I thought it had gotten it then, but I don't think I really have until now. Prayer doesn't do anything for God; He doesn't need me or my praise or my begging and pleading for anything He wants to take place. It doesn't make a difference to Him. And that's just it: I can say how happy I am, how angry I am, or how scared I am. I can say things like hallelujah, like hate, or like shit, and He sees me the same way through all of it. I'm reminded of a friend telling me awhile back to make sure and tell God when I'm angry, even if its with Him because God already knows, but maybe I don't know, and if there is anything God really wants, its for His children to feel as though they can go before Him and spread everything out on the table. Get rid of the shame or fear. He doesn't need us to, but wants us to, so that we can open up and have the chance to be settled. If I walk on egg shells around Him, which I am inclined to do, I will never fully grasp onto anything useful.......
Over the past year I have had moments of realizing how incredibly important my seemingly insignificant life is in God eyes, how He has made sure to provide big blessings, and heaps of small ones as well. And how something as small as an incredible view or a good laugh or a warm conversation can make all the difference in my day.

So my class and I have endured. Nearly a year later, we're still together. We're at a place where things can generally be solved peacefully; not always, but I've become mindful of their sensitivity, and they've become mindful of my authority........The same can be said of the worse class runner- up - they were out of hand when I got them in March and have slowly become more and more manageable, so that now I don't dread going in there everyday. I think a large part of that is due to Jay. Thankfully, I got paired with the best co-teacher in the school for both of these classes. Just another reminder....

Overlap

Does feeling the need to defend yourself automatically make you guilty? As if you felt okay about it you wouldn't care what others thought? I know this is not so, but why am I so hesitant to offer my religious beliefs as an answer to why? I've never wanted to be grouped into the "one of those religious people" category, fearing that such connotation would form negative opinions from people - someone who follows a strict set of rules and regulations; someone who merely does what they're told and doesn't think for themselves. I don't have all the answers, but by now I have come to peaceful conclusions about enough things to offer, what I believe to be, reasonable explanations as to why I don't do or say certain things, or as to why I TRY to not do or say certain things. But I find it very difficult to express some of these. I've had a couple of key encounters here that have challenged me as far as taking a stand.
I have a co-worker, who I try not to judge, but sometimes feel judged by her as I believe she falls into that category - the "one of those religious people" category. I simply don't find a lot of logic in some of her statements, and find myself wanting to put her in her place so to speak. Sometimes I think she looks at me as though I don't practice what I preach, or as though I don't preach enough. Let it be known that I enjoy an occasional glass of wine (especially on a rainy night, or around Christmas, or with pasta) and a good margarita (especially with Quesidillas) and don't feel it causes any rift between God and I. But she, a Mormon, believes there lies a contradiction, as does drinking coffee (caffeine=a drug). I have to refrain myself from commenting as she drinks Coke or hot chocolate, or pops Advil like vitamin C. I get upset and defensive.
And at the same time, I have sat in silence when someone has asked me about church or drugs and sex or whatnot. I want to go into the all the other complications that arise from such activities - the law, addiction, emotional ties, unwanted pregnancy, disease, etc, etc,
but can rarely offer the simple answer of not wanting to dishonor the Lord. All are warranted, solid, true. And I have a real distaste for the arrogant and self-righteousness; I don't feel the need to make a remark every time someone does something I don't agree with.... yet, am I backing down? Chickening out? Coming up with stupid excuses? I go to Church; I believe in God. Why are those such difficult things to say at times? Especially when I believe in God as much as I believe in the Earth being round.
This is my present contemplation, just to throw out there......

Swing Low, Sweet Mexico

I was sitting on a bench outside the Seoul Investment Center with some random band pumping out songs by every rock group from the 1960's and 70's when I had one of the most liberating and surreal moments of my life. People were getting their groove on, fueled by quesidillas and margaritas, and I was just sitting and watching. I suddenly thought, I don't know if I'll ever be back in Korea, and I don't know if I'll ever be back at Mexipolooza in Korea, but I for certain won't ever be at Mexipolooza in Korea with an Asian man doing hardcore Kung-fu to the Beatles.......so I Kung-fued with him. I think either Amy or Nick may have gotten a picture of it, but if not I would like to sing praises to my high-kick. My numerous viewings of Karate Kid paid off and it was pretty sweet. There were a good number of people there to witness it as well, though they were surely all too drunk to remember it. I'm just glad I didn't make contact with anyone, but they probably wouldn't have remembered that either. I thought for sure that this particular martial arts performer was wasted, and that he was from the depths of Korea which is partly what spurred my involvement. However, he turned to introduce himself - in perfect English without even a trace of an accent - that he was from Long Island, New York and taught at a University here. Whoops. Anywoo, the food and drinks were great and so was the chance to have a Saturday afternoon out and about with people.

Heart Training

Maybe he said "hard training" but I like my initial admission better. I summitted my fifth, and probably last, mountain here in Korea yesterday. I returned to the first mountain I hiked nearly a year ago. I had attempted to do so last weekend, but since I still don't know where I'm going half the time even after 11 months here, I ended up getting off the bus at the wrong stop and walking in the opposite direction.....so I gave it another go this Saturday. And it was hot; possibly the hottest day we've had this summer. I could feel the sweat sliding down my cheeks and back, soaking my clothes.

I've started every one of these expeditions by myself, mainly because no one seems anxious to join me, but I never feel like I've made the climb alone in the end. At some point along the way, I'm seemingly adopted by some enthusiastic hiker, or hikers, who feel the need to take me under their wing.
About halfway through the 865 meters - the beginning of the real rugged terrain - a man handed me a cookie. Moments later, another man began asking me where I was from, why I was here, how long I would be staying, and with an ear to ear smile wished me "wonderfully journey to my destination." It was shortly after, and expectantly, that another somewhat older Korean man began chatting up a storm,mostly in Korean, and then continued to lead the way for me and take concern for my well-being: making sure my footing was right, giving me water and iced coffee from a thermos and some fruit. He told me all about the area, about how much he loves to hike and how many mountains he's conquered, about how he once saw a tiger when he made this climb a few years back. He took pictures for me at the top and as we descended he called his teenage daughter so the two of us could have "girl talk." When we got to the bottom, a good 4 hours in all, he insisted upon buying me dinner so we stopped at a small mountain chow shack at the foot of Bukhanson with a load of hikers. He told me about his job and told him about mine, and then we commented on the greatness of Michael Jackson's and U2's music. Everyday I realize more and more how I'm always provided for, even if its just in the form of a companion for a brief time.
And as I was making the tiring trek back to my apartment I couldn't help but think about how I'm going to miss these random chance encounters my life here has given me.

We're Kaleidoscopes

The humidity and wet season have driven my back to the gym. The manager seemed so excited to see me that I think she wanted to give me a hug but refrained. Though the locker room situation here is one I will never adapt very well to, I do rather like my reputation.
We're back into the swing of things at work, which wasn't nearly as difficult as I had anticipated after lying around on the beach and in hammocks for a bit. Last week flew like an 18 year old cruisin' Lindbergh on a Friday night, and this week is following close behind. I think the kids have flown off the handle though, at least the kindergartners, while my elementary clan has taken to some surprising form of Zen that has them being quiet and completing their homework. The girls still chatter about nonsense (I can pick that up even in Korean) and the boys still make some obnoxious noises, but they have all grown on me. I have always been all gun-ho about the kindergartners because they generally love you no matter what...and they're just cuter. But in their defense, the older kids don't always see my most charming qualities; I get them in mid-afternoon, after I've taught a full morning and into early afternoon of kindergarten. So I'm expecting to be cut a little slack by the older kids. They've been impressing me though, and we've been having some good laughs.
I discovered Tom (my Henry #2) is a sticker fiend, and so I line up a row of stickers at the beginning of class and deduct them each time he gets up out of his seat(today it was only once, as opposed to the average 10 or 11); Dorothy, who was one of the slowest in the class 8 months ago, just posted the highest score on the comprehensive exam that all the students had to take; I couldn't get Jinny or Ethel to say a word to me when they first started, now they read aloud, ask to carry my books for me, and show off their new apparel; David cried in class and hardly played with any of the other kids, and now he gives them high-fives and chases them down the hallway. However, it's still much more fun to get the 4 year olds to say okie dokie, booya, and rock on. And it still makes me smile when Justin plops himself and his toothless grin down on my lap, or Jason does the same with himself and his big head.

I'm back on the up and up. The past weekend had me somewhat disheartened, I think just because I spent so much time alone. I've also generally been tired of somethings - food, lugging water, getting lost, sleeping on the floor, cleaning out the drain, etc. Woman days in addition don't help, if ya know what I mean, but as excited as I am to go home, I'm also thinking, "What the heck am I going to do once I get there?" Of course I have catching up with people to do, but after a month or so of that, I'll need other activities; I'll need to make money. That worries me. And it worries me that I only have 5 weeks of this grand adventure left and I might miss out on something because I'm concentrated on going home. What if I'm bored when I get there?
But that shouldn't be where my mind is at. It should be on making these last 5 or 6 weeks awesome, and wrapping things up here to bring back one extraordinary time period of my life. It should be on how blessed I've been here, and how much I've learned and expanded. And it should be on how I need to make sure I put time and effort into the relationships I do have at home, and to be thankful for those hugely awesome things and even those tiny, seemingly insignificant things such as garbage disposals. I should be thinking about how I always thought I wasn't very brave, and how I somehow managed to pull this off. And, thus, I should be able to pull off so many of the things I've been afraid of for so long. A friend from church asked me why I haven't seriously pursued writing since I told him it was what I truly wanted to do. No reason, I said, other than being chicken. "What are you scared of? No one is going to kill you!" That was like a slap upside the head. A guy I've know and seen once a week, if that, for 6 months just totally pointed out my hiding spot. I should be thinking that the possibilities are endless....
This post seems like its all over the place, but it also seems like I haven't blogged in forever. I have more, but I also have a Skype date and a water fight with kindergartners tomorrow that I need to be well rested for.

Spread the News

A Dark Chocolate a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Daily Dark Chocolate Good for the Heart, Loaded With FlavonoidsBy Daniel J. DeNoon
WebMD Health News

Here’s news that’s hard not to like. Eating a small, 1.6-ounce bar of dark chocolate every day is good for you. Very good for you, find Mary Engler, PhD, RN, of the University of California, San Francisco, and colleagues.

Now here is a medical experiment you would love to volunteer for. Engler’s team divided 21 healthy adults into two groups. One group got a Dove Dark Chocolate bar every day for two weeks. Like other dark chocolate bars with high-cocoa content, this one is loaded with something called epicatechin. Epicatechin is a particularly active member of a group of compounds called plant flavoniods. Flavoniods keep cholesterol from gathering in blood vessels, reduce the risk of blood clots, and slow down the immune responses that lead to clogged arteries.

The second group that didn’t get Dove bars wasn’t totally left out. They, too, got dark chocolate bars. But their treats had the flavoniods taken out.

All subjects underwent high-tech evaluation of how well the blood vessels dilate and relax — an indictor of healthy blood vessel function. Blood vessel stiffness indicates diseased vessels and possible atherosclerosis. Those who got the full-flavonoid chocolate did significantly better. Why? Blood tests showed that high levels of epicatechin were coursing through their arteries.

“This is the longest clinical trial to date to show improvement in blood vessel function from consuming flavonoid-rich dark chocolate daily over an extended period of time,” Engler says in a news release. “It is likely that the elevated blood levels of epicatechin triggered the release of active substances that … increase blood flow in the artery. Better blood flow is good for your heart.”
Why Dark Chocolate Is Different

Not all chocolate is created equal. Dark chocolate contains a lot more cocoa than other forms of chocolate. And standard chocolate manufacturing destroys up to half of the flavoniods. But chocolate companies have now learned to make dark chocolate that keeps up to 95% of its flavoniods.

Sure, this seems like a scam. Can’t you get more and better flavoniods from other foods? Surprisingly, the answer is “not really.” Engler says that dark chocolate

“Many people don’t realize that chocolate is plant-derived, as are the fruits and vegetables recommended for a healthy heart,” Engler says.

While a little dark chocolate is good, a lot is not better. Chocolate still is loaded with calories. If you’re going to eat more chocolate, you’ll have to cut back somewhere else. And remember that a balanced diet — and plenty of exercise — is still the key to heart health.

Engler’s study was funded by the University of California, San Francisco, School of Nursing. The American Cocoa Research Institute, a nonprofit group funded by the chocolate industry, provided the chocolate used in the study.

The findings appear in the June issue of the Journal of the American College ofNutrition. Engler previously reported the findings at the 2002 Scientific Sessions of the American Heart Association and at the Experimental Biology 2003 meeting.