Falling Is Like This

Sometimes, every once in a while, I think I'm cool. Then, I realize I'm not. Tonight after work Nick asked if I wanted to go get a beer with him. I said, sure why not? I'm not much of a beer chugger, but the night was nice and its been a long week. So we went down to this little place across the street and sat with our drinks telling some stories but mostly venting about work and Korea. After about an hour of that we decided we were hungry, so we walked to the Korean BBQ place and ate and vented some more. Then we walked back to the little place where we got beer, and sat outside because it was a really nice night, and we still needed to vent. We were lounging around outside telling great stories, laughing loudly and had quite a few people checking us out as we were the only foreigners around (that's when I momentarily thought I was cool). After nearly 4 hours of eating and talking, I was headed back to my apartment when I noticed I didn't have my key - I left it on my desk at school, which was now vacant AND locked. Crap, crap, crap. I have locked myself out of my car before (more than once), but thanks to a nifty little key pad on our garage door at home, I have yet to lock myself out of the house. So first I tried the security guy at the building who doesn't have a key; then the security guy at my building doesn't have a key either, so then I call Shannon, who tells me I have to call Colleen (the principle). I thought maybe the receptionist would have a key, but she doesn't, AND I thought she lived next to my apartment building, but she doesn't anymore which I did not know until now. Good thing I didn't start knocking on what I thought was her door.......So the principal had to come back to the school, to unlock it and let me get my key, because even though its the school's apartment they don't keep an extra key (whatever). I apologized profusely but didn't get so much as an "it's ok" or "don't worry about it." My coworkes did get a kick out of it though, and I'm sure I'll be all the talk at school tomorrow, and then for a couple of minutes maybe I'll be cool again.

Day 222

"God says to me with kind of a smile,
"Hey how would you like to be God awhile
And steer the world?"
"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.
Where do I set?
How much do I get?
What time is lunch?
When can I quit?"
"Gimme back that wheel," says God,
"I don't think you're quite ready yet."" -
-- Shel Silverstein

Drip, Drip, Drop

“When the light turns green, you go.
When the light turns red, you stop.
But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?”shel silverstein

I know this is another update in just a matter of days.............but its that time of year: the time when illness, rain, and location put you out of the running for almost anything other than reading, watching I Love Lucy, and writing. So that has been my week. By now, I think I've watched every movie I have twice, maybe thrice. I had to borrow a couple of books from Shannon's stash as I've turned the last of my pages. I've been filling notebooks like the environment isn't a concern. Yesterday, I cleaned my apartment - my one room apartment- for nealy 3 hours. Tomorrow is Saturday, my day of exploration and discovery, and its supposed to rain. Next week I have a 4 day weekend thanks to a couple of holidays, and guess what? Its supposed to rain. I know its April, and its Asia but dude.......... I mentioned something in an earlier post about wanting galoshes, just because I thought they'd be cool, but now they really would be practical. This week was actually shorter, thanks to hugging the toilet and scratching my sides all day Monday, and my students were quite concerned when I came back on Tuesday -lots of hugs, candy (just the thing for an upset stomach) and even a beautiful gift from Bali. Yet somehow, it actually seemed to drag on longer. Sometimes it feels like I'm wandering around in a dream over here, where I've lost track of time and my days just run together- though I know exactly how long I've been here, and exactly how long till my contract is up. I'm running into a lot of "halfway home" blues with co-workers, or maybe just a halfway lull, which I'm really trying to not get sucked into though I am deffinitly wondering what the heck to do with myself. *sigh* I'm thinking I 'll be posting again soon.......

Take Cover

Teaching has be one of the worst jobs to have while you're sick. And being anywhere other than home while you're sick has to be the worst place to be. This is the second time here in Korea that I have caught some sort of stomach viral thingy. Only this time, is was coupled with an intense outbreak of hives. Blotchy red all over, burning up, and bent over the toilet..............I cried and I don't care who knows it. Last time I just kinda waited the whole stomach thing out, but this time I had to go to the doctor. I called in sick to work and made my way over to the clinic. My principal wanted me to try to come into work this afternoon after a doctor's visit, but since I could barely make it to the doctor's office I decided her idea just wasn't such a good one. I was also informed by a coworker that taking 1/2 a day here, counts the same as taking the whole day, so..........why not actually take the whole day? My thoughts exactly. I downed a bunch of Gatorade, took a handful of pills, and fell in and out of sleep watching movies the rest of the day. That was most certainly the low for this month, maybe for the past 3 months or so. I really hope this is the last of this kind of thing I have to deal with while I'm here. But there have been some other highlights:

First, the Cherry Blossom Festival. I ended up going to this alone because there was a miscommunication between a coworker and I, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon roaming under a canopy of pink flowers with food and music wasn't too bad. I was reminded of the tree my parents have by the deck in the backyard that blooms these beautiful dark pink flowers every spring and I like to sit under.
Second, was the Demilitarized Zone, or the DMZ. This is a strip of land that runs across the Korean Peninsula serving as a buffer area between North and South Korea. No human has been in the area in over 50 years, making it one of the most well preserved areas of temperate land in the world. Though the two sides have signed a cease fire treaty, they are still at war and the border is heavily guarded and patrolled. For a few moments, however, I was in North Korea, surrounded by military officers (the good guys) and under close surveillance by the bad guys. I didn't get a stamp in my passport though, which is a little disappointing. Though I was never really nervous, it was all a bit intimidating and the closest thing I'll ever get to the "front lines".

Top: good guy protecting us; Bottom: bad guy spying on us.
I now need to plan a few other things to look forward to. I'm trying to have something to look forward to every weekend. It definitely helps.

Megellan, Cook, Columbus

"One can not reach distant shores
if they remain latched to the docks,
In fear that their little boat of dreams,
might be dashed upon the rocks."
e.e.cummings


It is a common belief among anthropologists that one must fully immerse themselves in another world to truly understand their own. When I decided to come over here, I expected to have dynamic discoveries. The reason I picked up and came in the first place was because I was bored out of my mind; frustrated as all get and desperatly wanted a change of pace and scenary. I tried to prepare myself for "shock and awe" but there was really only so much I could do from the other side of the world. Though I've had some instant startling realizations, I think my relationship with Korea has been much like my relationship with my students.......a steady, day to day education built upon slowly. I thought this would be good end of the year post, but I'm feeling it right now. So here are a few things I know now that I didn't about 7 months ago:

--I like pumpkin
--I do not like pumpkin seeds
--I'm really big on letting your yes be yes and your no be no
--I have relatively long legs
--Standing in line means nothing in Korea; even if it looks like a line, it isn't
--Photography is something I could do for a living
--Flowers make me happy
--I can wander around all day without any general direction
--I really am a slow walker and need to make sure I don't get ran over
--Most people just want to feel appreciated, and that's all
--I talk really fast when I'm nervous, and tap my fingers on things
--Flushing toilet paper benefits everyone
--Living alone can be a true blessing at times
--I hate asking people for help :(
--St. Louis should have more festivals; maybe they do and I just don't pay attention.......
--Everyone should read Alexander McCall Smith
--Facebook is addicting
--The English language makes no sense
--I want to buy me some rain boots; I think they're hot
--Korea needs speed limits

That's all for now.

Never Ever Neverland

Many people tell me they can't remember hardly anything before the age of five years old. I find that odd since some of my most vivid memories are around the age of 3; most of them having to do with my Grandpa Lewis. He was Titan and, in my mind, could do no wrong. I remember the motorcycle, the boat, and the camper that sat in the driveway on Majesty Court. I remember camping in that camper and seeing the biggest spider I've ever seen to date and my first woodpecker. I remember the dish of Andes' Mints he kept next to his recliner (always on the left side), and how he let me crawl into his lap and eat as many as I wanted. I remember getting help on the Easter egg hunt in the front yard; just the two of us swaying back and forth on the big swing in the backyard. There was the tray of creme wafer cookies on the table that I could actually smell when I walked in the kitchen.....................I remember dirt under Grandpa's fingernails, and his tool and trinket cluttered garage with the wooden cabinets. I even have this vision of him standing in his mechanic jumpersuit that said "Clyde" across the shoulder. My favorite memory is playing in the ditch by the side of the garage and spotting a snake slither right into my brother and I's adventure. It was no more than a foot-long garden snake, but I was about knee high and a girl. As soon as I popped out of that ditch screaming bloody murder, Grandpa grabbed the shovel and in one uninterrupted motion chopped the head clear off that snake, leaving me and my brother standing there with our chins on the pavement. I truly remember having a moment where I thought, "No one will ever be that cool.........."
He died a month after my fourth birthday, forever remembered as a saint.

I have a little boy in my kindergarten class who is an absolute terror (stay with me on this). His name is Justin and he not only marches to his own beat, but he tries to play that beat on everyone else's instrument. Half of my time is spent reprimanding him. It's constant. I decline stickers and games and candy; I yell, put him in timeout, threaten to and send him to the principal. At least once a day, sometimes twice, I take recess time away from him. And the kid loves me to death: He comes in every morning and wraps his arms around me. He holds my hand to and from the bus; he sits in my lap, he carries my books and supplies for me; he brings me chocolate and pastries. He plays with my hair and tells me it's oh "soooooo bu-e-ta-fil!"
I'm just wondering where in the heck he got this pedestal view of me? How in the world did I win him over? Something must have reeled him in, or are kids really just that accepting? I'm wondering if in 20 years, after a string of jaded teachers and bosses he'll all of a sudden look back, and think, "Dude, what was she all about? I was always in trouble and missing out," or if I will forever be preserved in his memory just as I am now, this Mary Poppins figure who floated in and out of his life? Once in awhile I think kids are so much smarter than adults.........

The Eye of the Beholder

It's April. Thank God. The start of a new season has the ability to lift my spirits, especially in that window of time where the weather can't quite make up its mind but you can sense that its on the brink of change...................
Yesterday, one of my elementary students came up to me after class, threw her arms all the way around me and said, "You are a great teacher." Ahhhhh.